Week 7 - Organize It

Week 7 - Organize

This is something I definitely need to be better at, ORGANIZATION.  So I started with my jewelry.  As you can see in the upper left hand  picture, this is the way I had all my jewelry organized for the last year. Despite the fact my mom and dad bought me a beautiful jewelry box that matched my bedroom set....I have been "storing" all of my jewelry in it since college. I never really knew what I had until I started just leaving my jewelry out. WHICH meant for a lot of lost, misplaced or damaged items. (and an annoyed BF)  This was my inspiration

I think MMD and I did a good job mirroring the inspiration.  We purchased all the supplies for less than $20.  Not too bad.

Another thing I did was minimize.  Here is the bucket that will be making its way to the Salvation Army.  It is still in my room collecting items, but will need to leave soon

I'm trying to be better by doing better....Until next week....

Week 6 - Task Complete

Week 6 - Task Complete
I am known to be one of those crafters who starts these great projects, but somehow I forget to finish.  As I started to downsize my supplies (junk/unfinished projects), I found a knitting project I totally forgot about from 5-6 years ago. So I decided to finish pick it up and finish it.  Here it is

It feels good to finally finish a project that I started.  I hope to have more posts of my finished projects up to share in the future.

Until next post, be better, do better...

Week 5 - Hockey

Week 5 - Hockey

This week we took J to the MSUvsUofM hockey game. Its been a while since I've been to the Joe, but even longer since I've seen my friend Sparty. 

Seldom do we have one on one time with him. It felt good to treat J to the game and dinner (even though the tickets were free). Working downtown, MMD and I both are a bit more aware of our surroundings. We thought it would be fun to take the people mover to the game. Little did we know that it runs a tad slower on the weekends.

Nonetheless, it was great to hear about all the sports going on in J's life and spend quality time with him.

Until next post, be better, do better...

Week 4 - Ring

Week 4 - Ring

All my life my grandma, Gramma Lou, and I had a connection. Yes of course she was my father's mother, but our relationship was much more than that. From a very young age, I felt loved and cared for by her. She listened to me, she hugged me, she told me secrets. She had this southern belle, yet sass about her.  Just thinking about it makes me miss her.

There is one memory of my Gramma that I will never forget.  It was the day we lost her mother, Gramma BooBoo. We were at the nursing home, in her room and were with her the moment she took her last breath. I remember everything like it was yesterday.  It was the first time I really experienced a death, and could understand what happened.  I remember holding Gramma Lou's hand, crying with her, and walking down the hallway with her.  Everything at that moment sicks in my head, the smell, the floor tiles, the hand rails. Ever since that day, there was this unspoken bond we shared.

It came time for Gramma Lou to downsize so she moved close by us in Schaumburg. It was easy to just go over and spend time with her, either at her house or she was at ours. She was always a part of everything we did. Then our world was turned upside down, Dad found out that his job was transferring him (and us) to Detroit.  Detroit.  Wow, what a drastic change.  As we prepared to move, Gramma had a choice to move with us, or move close to my godparents (My Dad's older brother and wife) in Wisconsin. She made the decision to move to WI and reconnect with my godparents S&R.

It was difficult to adjust to the change, no family, had to make new friends, don't know where anything is, oh and Gramma is now 8 hours away.  Thankfully, my parents took every chance they could for us to take a road trip and visit Gramma, Aunt Sherri and Uncle Rick.  At the time, I was resistant to being in the car the whole weekend, or every school break, or holiday.  But now I can not be more thankful to have had the kind of parents that made it a point for their kids to spend time with the family.

Fast forward to my high school years, I found myself really enjoying the one on one time with Gramma during our visits.  I realized what a witty (smarty pants) and fun lady Gramma Lou was.  There were times we would sit at her kitchen table and thumb through old photos and letters.  She would share her stories and memories of the past.  It was then that I really learned the relationship that I had with my Gramma Lou is one that I would never find in any other person.  It wasn't just a entitled love, she really listened and truly understood me.  There were other times where we would sit on her bed playing with all her jewelry.  She would show me all the jewelry she was given by other family members, then explain how we were related and why its important to the family.

There was one particular ring that she would wear on her ring finger.  She didn't wear it all the time, but when she did I always commented.  It was simple, and her style.  It was this tiny little diamond band, that seemed to always be loose on her finger.  The thing is, every time I asked about the story behind the ring, she never had one.  She just liked it.  She always told me, "before you go home, make sure you take that ring you like".  I always told her, no its hers, and that's how I remember her.  

The years moved forward, and Gramma Lou move into the nursing home.  Her health was declining, and her mind was in and out of her childhood.  I saw her two last times before she passed, one at my dad's funeral and the last time was a few weeks before she left us.  All I can say without getting choked up is that it was a difficult time.  S&R took care of everything, and I mean everything arrangements, dividing up her belongings and finalizing her finances.  Bless them.  

A few years after Gramma's passing, they decided to pack up and move to the warm weather of New Mexico.  I had a chance to go visit them this December and spend some much needed time off.  S has always asked me if there was anything of Gramma's that I wanted to have to remember her.  The only thing I could remember was that little ring.  For a few years, I told her this.  She continued to tell me that it probably was lost or stolen at the nursing home.  I just dealt with it and really didn't think twice.

While we were getting ready to go shopping, she turns to me and hands me this envelope.  I open it up and sure enough, its the ring.  She told me she found it, in the envelope, in a shoe box after they had moved to New Mexico.  I was astonished.  How did this tiny little ring make it all through the nursing home, back to S&R's house, and then the move to NM?   S said she new how happy I would be, and was excited to give it to me on during my visit.

I had to take a moment to reflect on what had just happened.  I am a firm believer in "The Secret", the law of attraction.  I had been wanting and hoping for a ring this last year, it just came from a different person than I hoped.  Nonetheless, this is a memory and story I will never forget.  I truly believe my Gramma Lou is always with me and guiding me through this life.

Reflection and an open mind for positive things to enter into my life.

Until my next post, be better. do better....

Week 3 - Compassion

Week 3 - Compassion

com·pas·sion

  [kuhm-pash-uhn]  Show IPA

noun

1.

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, 

accompanied by astrong desire to alleviate the suffering.

verb (used with object)

2.

Archaic. to compassionate.

Origin: 
1300–50; Middle English  (< Anglo-French ) < Late Latin compassiōn-  (stem of compassiō ). See com-,passion

Related forms

com·pas·sion·less, adjective

un·com·pas·sion, noun

un·com·pas·sioned, adjective

Synonyms 
1. commiseration, mercy, tenderness, heart, clemency. See sympathy.

(Reference http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/compassion)

This past week has taught me a lot about compassion.  I can't explain it other than this...

Both my brother and father were diagnosed with cancer, at different times, nonetheless our family went through some of the toughest times during their diagnosis.  Both instances, I felt a sense of compassion from friends, family and loved ones.  But I also learned what it was to have compassion for others.  Seeing my brother stuck in a hospital bed while his friends are out enjoying being 16 was one of those instances it really hit me.  Here is this kid, stuck, in the summer with tubes, needles, and the annoying hospital smell.  The only thing I knew to do, was be there for him, and bring him taco bell and Mountain Dew.  Which seemed to help :)

My brother has been cancer free for 11 years now. He's healthy. And that's all that matters.

As for my dad, his passing continues to be something I deal with, but proved to be yet another instance when I felt the compassion others had for my family and I.  

This weekend, my mom reminded me of this.  Not specifically by stating, "remember when..." But by acting on it.  She reminded me that compassion is a gift you give to others and yourself.  I don't want to get into the details about the things that occurred, but compassion is ever present.

Until next week, my journey to be better and do better continues....

Week 2 - Santa

Week 2 - Santa

Although we are 2 weeks into the new year, I couldn't help but share my "Santa" story. I have to preface the story with a Christmas tradition my mom, Santa and I have had since 1987. Basically, Santa decided I would get a Holiday Barbie every Christmas. My mom of course would be the "elf" to carry this tradition out. This is a gift that I always have looked forward to on Christmas morning.
Well, my mom and I decided that last year would be the last year I would be receiving a Barbie. I was ok with that. I turned 30, and it was time for a new tradition. So I thought.
KO and I had just finished up a late meeting at the Ren Cen and headed down to the food court for lunch. Who just happened to be there, it was Santa.  Obviously we had to go take a picture with him.  Here it is...

While I was waiting for KO, Santa gently took my hand and said, "You know, I'm going to need you to do me a favor."  I replied, "Whats that, Santa?"  He said, "I'm going to need you to give me back all your Barbies.  I know you still have them in the boxes."  I suddenly froze.  I looked over at KO with my jaw completely dropped. She said, "What, whats going on?"  I replied, "Did you put him up to this?"  No sooner did the words roll out of my mouth, I realized, I never told KO about my Barbies.  With Santa's hand still holding mine and in somewhat of a silly shock I replied, "Santa, you gave me those as a gift all my life." "There are kids that need gifts though, don't you want to give them a gift?" he out wittingly replied.  I was stumped   How do I respond to that?  Of course I want to help kids that don't have gifts enjoy the holidays.
I felt like I was 5 again and in a dilemma, do what Santa asks or keep my tradition alive.  I responded the best way I knew how to, "Santa, I don't think my mom will like it if I gave them all back to you.  Did you talk to her about this?"  He didn't respond.  And then it was picture time.  We thanked him, got our things and headed to the food court.  KO realized quickly that I was still in shock.  She had no idea what was going on, but thought it was funny once I explained everything.
I could not wait to get home to call my mom.  Mostly to tell her the story, but more importantly to tell her I still wanted my Barbie this year for Christmas.  She thought the story was equally strange, and had a sense that I would change my mind.
How does this all fit into my "be better, do better"?  Well, this year I have decided to make some changes.   Especially with the way I react...to people, places and things.  I've learned a lot about myself and my character defects.  I know that the way I've treated people over the years, mostly my mom, needs to change.  Dealing with my issues is helping me to realize that I need our relationship to get better.  I want her to hear and be a part of my efforts to be a better person.
The point is, my mom knows me, almost better than anyone I've ever known.  She knew that even though I said I didn't want that Barbie, on Christmas morning I would have been disappointed.
I appreciate her for everything she does.  I have be better to her.  And I intend to.

Until next week.  Be better, do better...

Week 1 - Letting Go

Week 1 - Letting Go

This week brings new things for me...2013 New Year, my 31st birthday (dear lord help us all), and T-dizzle's birthday. Most importantly, I decided to do something new and different. I decided to let go. Let go of the past, fighting, arguing and most of all, my ideas of how my life is "supposed" to be. I realized, that its SO draining. For me and everyone around me. And not to mention, it's totally holding me back from enjoying everything in front of me, the present.
So instead of buying myself a fabulous purse or amazingly awesome shoes (that are out of my budget) for my birthday, I gave myself a better gift. I'm going to let it all go. I will enjoy the present.
In doing so, I decided to pull it together, get some makeup on, and go out to enjoy my birthday with MMD. We had a wonderful time and ate some great food at a new restaurant, Gastronomy.  

We shall see what the next week brings. Until then, I'm going to be better AND do better.